i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
