Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
