3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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