I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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