Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Little spoons don't ask big questions
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Randomize
