How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
