At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I didn't notice because vodka
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We need to get me chipped asap
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize