Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
