I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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