Im at strip club and am horny
420 ftw
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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