she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
