Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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