What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
