If that was your dad, he is hot
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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