goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Randomize
