There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
