I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize