its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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