all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
