South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
