Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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