In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
