You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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