i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
