sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
