He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
