She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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