i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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