mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
