he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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