I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
