Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
