i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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