Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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