so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
