marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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