I hate all girls vehemently.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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