So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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