I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
