i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
