i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
