I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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