If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
