I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
i believe in u and ur pee
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