So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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