I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
