what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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