On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Quick, to the slutcave!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
