I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
