I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
