So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize