Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
