we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
