physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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