I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
