Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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