their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
