I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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