I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
