you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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