Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
